A Sacred Digital Monument to Workplace Affection
Place esteemed colleague photo here
Two Distinguished Colleagues in Their Natural Habitat
In this world of fleeting connections and shallow acquaintances, there exists a bond so profound, so unshakeable, that mere words crumble under the weight of its magnificence.
We speak, of course, of the sacred relationship between colleagues.
Not "coworkers." Not "team members." Not "peers." No. Colleagues. The word itself drips with gravitas. Say it slowly. Col-league. Feel the prestige wash over you.
To love one's colleague is not merely a choice — it is a calling. A destiny. An inevitable truth written in the stars and confirmed during a mandatory training video.
A true colleague never speaks ill of you. Except in Slack DMs. Those don't count.
Remembering their coffee order is the love language of the modern workplace.
Thou shalt not schedule a meeting during lunch. This is non-negotiable.
Even the bad ones. ESPECIALLY the bad ones. That's what love is.
Nothing forges an unbreakable bond like surviving a corporate training video together.
Reacting to every message with 🔥 regardless of content. Supportive. Powerful.
Using "colleague" instead of "coworker" elevates the relationship to aristocratic levels.
I solemnly swear to love my colleague ✨
In sprints and in standups ✨
In deadlines and in delays ✨
Through production bugs and merge conflicts ✨
Through terrible Wi-Fi and forgotten mutes ✨
Until PTO do us part ✨
(But even then, I will Slack you memes)